Madness
by jixue
Summary: Ging and Pariston are together. Leorio is a perverted doctor and Kurapika cross dresses as a female receptionist for him. With Alluka and Killua being the only ones to drive him sane, will Gon be able to pull off a normal life when there's always trouble heading his way? Au. LeoPika, KiruGon, implied ParistonGing.
1. Gay

**Disclaimer: **I don't own hunter x hunter. Johru, this is for you.

* * *

><p>BANG. BANG. BANG.<p>

Killua Zoldyck's eyebrow twitched, feeling his weary eyes open against his will. He groaned for a bit, rubbing his eyes roughly as he shifted his body on another and tried falling back asleep from the warmth he felt.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

Another twitch. _What the actual fuck? _

"GET THE FUCK OUT!"

BANG. BANG. CRASH!

Killua sat up abruptly, finally wide awake and annoyed by the blast of noise that destroyed his sleep. Gon, who was sleeping soundlessly next to him also sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes as he yawned and peeked at the white-haired boy with one eye. "What's going on?"

"That's what I'd like to know," he muttered under his breath as he got off the bed.

Gon watched the other boy walk towards the closet to grab a black tank and put it on before he reached for the doorknob. The boy's head perked up as though he just realized something and turned, looking at Gon with no expression on his face. "I forgot something."

"Hm?" Gon blinked as Killua leaned down towards him and pressed his lips against the now smiling boy beneath him. "Good morning, Gon," he said softly with a smile. Gon broke the kiss and wrapped his arms around Killua's waist, cuddling against his stomach happily. "Good morning Killua~"

It seemed like a good morning for the two boys but was suddenly distracted by another loud bang. Alluka screamed in the background. "Please stop Ging-san!" she cried.

"What is going on?" Killua barked, giving Gon one quick kiss on the lips before he strolled out of the room to see what was going on. Gon raised his brows and decided to get out of bed. After dressing up, he quickly ran down the stairs to follow Killua to see what all of the common was about.

The two boys reached the living room and looked around for any mess but there wasn't any. It was sparkly clean, the flower vase was giving their eyes a glare from the sun that shun against the window. A warm wind blew against their cheek, making them wish that winter would come sooner and faster.

Alluka screamed again, this time with Ging's screaming harmoniously blending with hers as the sound of plates splattering on the floor was heard. Gon and Killua ran towards the kitchen and their eyes widened at the sight.

Ging was chasing after his blond-haired lover who had nothing but his pajama pants on. Ging's hair was messy, showing signs that he just woke up a few moments ago but obviously something bothered him. Alluka was trying to pick up the stepped on toasts from the floor but every time she got the chance to, Pariston would step over it, followed by Ging. Alluka's eyes watered in frustration.

What a beautiful morning to wake up to.

"GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. OF. THIS. HOUSE!" Ging screeched as he threw another toasted bread towards the other man. Pariston dodged it, stepping over the bread once more, finding Ging receiving the opportunity to reach over a pan and threw it over his head. "You bastard!"

Gon was surprised at how agitated his father was; he never acted that way before. He stared Pariston who was obviously trying to explain himself about something but Ging was too angry and throwing tantrums to even give the blonde a chance to clear things up. "Ging?"

Ging stopped on his tracks, turning to give his son a glare before he resumed back to chasing Pariston out of the kitchen then out the house, but the two ended up rounding around the kitchen table instead. "HE WAS SLEEPING WITH CHEADLE LAST NIGHT."

"Cheadle?" Killua asked, shoving his hands into his pockets. "The green-haired bookworm?"

"Tch, like that will matter to this little shit head. He came home this morning with a hung over and tried to hide whatever it was he did. Cheadle called his damn phone afterwards and thanked him for going out with her last night," the elder Freecss growled and sat against the counter top, crossing his arms with a huff.

Pariston sighed and scratched his head. "I'm trying to tell you it's not like that," he stated calmly, moving closer towards the sulking man next to him. A kiss was attempted but Ging had sharp senses and blocked the man's lips with his palm, shoving Pariston's face away from him. "Don't fucking kiss me."

Gon sweatdropped as he walked towards Alluka who was sobbing to herself, trembling in slight fear that Pariston might step over the bread again. He picked the now flattened bread and crumbs then patted the young girl's head to assure her that she will be alright and that whatever the issue was between the two old men was not going to ruin their breakfast.

"Can you guys do your quarrel outside?" Killua asked respectively. "You're scaring my little sister."

"Hah?" Ging's eyes narrowed then slumped. "I'm not doing anything. Tell that guy to get out," he demanded, pointing at Pariston who was rubbing his cheeks.

Pariston closed his eyes in defeat and left the kitchen, leaving the rest of the members silent. Usually, Pariston would be persistent, begging for Ging's forgiveness or rather trying to make things up to him by giving him sweet gestures or kissing him. This time was different, and everyone in the kitchen could feel coldness that came from the blonde man. Ging looked up, watching the man walk away. Was he mad at him? Did Ging overreact?

Ging took a step forward and reached for the blonde's back to apologize, but Pariston turned with a grin on his face then pecked Ging's lips as fast as he could. "I love you!" he exclaimed proudly then ran up the stairs.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

* * *

><p>Alluka placed new plates on the kitchen counter while Killua and Gon cleaned up the mess that the two men made. Killua threw away the broken glasses while Gon cringed at the poor stepped on toasts that would have last him the whole day. The young Zoldyck watched her brother and her supposedly in-law with a smile on her face. "At least the two of you don't fight like that."<p>

Gon laughed nervously, knowing that it isn't so. Killua's sister's mind, despite Nanika's violent and horrid requests, was still compared to a child's mind. There wasn't any room to educate her about their sexual activities, which was pretty much what happens whenever they try to make up during the times that they argue.

Killua closed the trash and shrugged, breaking the silence. "We still fight nonetheless, we just know better than to keep at it."

"Uhuh! And plus, Alluka-chan, when Killua get's upset, I either buy him chocorobo or I take him to our room and ha—"

A blush crept up Killua's face and covered Gon's mouth as quickly as possible with his had and cut him off. "and have some time to talk over about what we did wrong!"

"Maybe you should tell Ging-san and Pariston-sama to talk about their issues," she said as she nodded, admiring Gon and her brother's relationship. "That reminds me, they should have cooled off by now, and I'm going to call them back down for breakfast!"

As the young black-haired girl ran up the stairs, Gon and Killua was in the middle of eating their ramen before something snapped on their head. They dropped their forks, looked at each other with their eyes wide in concern then ran up the stairs to stop Alluka from calling the two men.

"ALLUKA, DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!"

But it was too late.

Alluka screamed once more but she screamed from being disturbed at whatever she just saw. Killua died a little on the inside and cried to himself mentally as his little sister ran towards him and buried her face on his chest, crying and whining to him about what she just saw. "Shhh… It's okay Alluka… Gon and I will take you out for some ice cream."

She looked up as he wiped her tears away, "really?" the snow head nodded.

Gon felt bad for Alluka, not only did she have to suffer a bunch of stepped on toasted bread; she also had to see her father and his boyfriend having sex. He needed to talk to them. Before he reached their room, he realized the door was half open.

You wouldn't want to know what he saw.

There was a sour expression on Ging's face that clearly showed how irritated he was for being interrupted with he had going on with Pariston. Though, he was more irritated with the fact that the bastard took advantage of him and took the chance to mess with him even after he got drunk with stupid Cheadle. He pushed the blonde off him, not caring much that his face his the floor then reached over for his clothes.

"You guys really need to learn how to lock your door," Gon warned. "It's okay if Killua and I catches this, but Alluka on the other hand, doesn't even have knowledge of what she just saw. I'm pretty sure she'll be scarred for life."

His old man scoffed, "don't tell me that. Tell that guy over there, getting' all turned on for nothing."

"What do you mean 'getting turned on for nothing'?" Pariston said, crossing his legs from the floor then stared at the older Freecss. "You're the one who seduced me."

Ging was itching to kill this man.

"I DIDN'T SEDUCE SHIT!"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I don't know about this one. Ack, I'm a strong Pariston Ging, shipper. We'll see how this goes.


	2. Plans

**Disclaimer: **I don't own hxh. If I did, the anime's ending would've been cannon.

**Warning:** Kinda sorta LeoPika action going on. You've been warned.

* * *

><p>"Yeah, I get it. Quit your bitchin'!" Ging growled with his hands on his pockets, walking away from Cheadle who was trying to explain herself on behalf of what happened between her and Pariston, which was absolutely nothing. "If I knew you were going to be here this morning, I wouldn't have gone to work."<p>

Gon walked past his father with files on his hand. "I don't understand why I have to do work during the weekends, this is your work. You're supposed to do it!"

"Oi, Gon," Ging said, waving his hands to call his son. "I heard that! If that _mother_ of yours finds out that I'm not giving you enough experience, she'll take you back and I won't hesitate to do so but that's not what you want right? So get to work!"

With a sigh, Gon nodded and entered Ging's office. His table was fully stacked with research papers and a bunch of crumpled drawings on the ground that probably meant his dad was trying to think of ideas. After he placed the files on the table, he picked up one paper ball and straightened it.

It was a hotel; his dad was trying to create a blueprint for a hotel. For what though? Out of curiosity, the young boy sat on the chair and opened his dad's computer to find out more about this idea. After several clicks from the mouse, Gon finally decided to open his email and raised his brows when he saw that he's been talking to Leorio.

**LeoP:** Ging-san, you really need to tell your son about your plans. He's family.

**GFreecss**: I can't really tell him if the plan is not definite now, can I?

**LeoP:** True, there's no mistaking to that. Kurapika already said his boss doesn't mind sponsoring the hotel. His boss seemed to be indebt.

**GFreecss:** That's wonderful, really. Hey, don't tell Hill about this. He'll be fucked.

**LeoP:** I think the two of you need counseling; your relationship is unhealthy.

**GFreecss:** Like hell we will! Not when that bastard is still cocky.

**LeoP:** You're making me sigh behind the computer; I'm still your physician, and as your physician, I'm greatly concerned.

**GFreecss:** How did it get from blueprint to my relationship? If anything is unhealthy, it's your sexual desires with your boyfriend.

**LeoP**: Don't make me punch the shit out of your chin.

Gon needed to talk to Leorio as soon as possible, but from what he read, the hotel had no bad intentions. Letting it pass, he reached over the file he had to work with and opened a new document. He began to type.

Just a few minutes later, his phone rang; it was Killua. Gon stopped typing, "Killua~"

'_How's work, Gon?_'

"It's okay," he answered, putting his lover on speaker. "There's just too much to type."

'_Too much to type, or there's too many files to record on your dad's computer?'_

Gon laughed, "maybe a little bit of both. How's Alluka?"

'_Ah, she's better now. I got her some vanilla ice cream but now she wants to see you_.'

"She does? I'm not all that busy so you can come over."

'_Gon-onii-chan! Do you want some ice cream too? Big brother said he'll buy it for you!_'

A smile perked up on Gon's lips. "It's alright, Alluka-chan, just get here safely with Kil."

'_Gon-onii-chan?_'

"Yes?"

'_Have you ever done _it_ with big brother?_'

Gon almost choked on his own spit. "W-What, what's _it_?"

'_The thing that Ging-san and Pariston-sama was doing…_'

'_O-Oi, Alluka! Don't ask that kind of question!_' Killua's voice was in the background.

"I can tell you about it when you get here," Gon said nervously. "Your brother and I have a lot of things to educate you about."

'_Educate…? Okay, then. Ja!_'

After he hung up, he was in deep thought. He's not good at teaching things, nonetheless educating Alluka about what sex was about and the whole bees and the trees kind of talk. Who else would be in the appropriate position to teach such a thing?

Maybe a professional? Gon crossed his arms against his chest and thought deeply.

Then the light bulb turned on his head. Leorio!

Leorio's not only a licensed doctor, but he's _also_ very perverted. What a better way to educate Alluka than a medical professional who can speak in a way that wouldn't be too vulgar for her?

Gon happily dialed his close friend's number, hoping that the man wasn't busy enough as he is.

* * *

><p>"Hah? You want me to educate who about what?" Leorio asked as he dug his ears with his pinky.<p>

'_Talk to Killua's little sister about the whole birds and the trees!_' Gon pleaded on the other line.

The doctor raised his eyebrows in confusion. "You mean birds and the bees?"

'_Yeah, that!_'

He facepalmed, even Gon who had done it so many times with Killua still doesn't understand the whole saying of where babies come from. "Why does Alluka need to be educated about it?"

Gon told Leorio about the event that happened the other day; Leorio was laughing painfully, nowhere near being surprised at all and he was slamming his fists unto the table. He held his laughter back and spoke in between his snorts, "what does sex got to do with birds and the bees? Two men ain't got a vagina to even give birth, even more, get pregnant."

'_It doesn't have to be about birds and the bees! And I know enough to say that birds and the bees does somehow talk about sex!_'

"…It's supposedly a sexual intercourse between a man and a woman, Gon. If Alluka is wondering if you and Killua do it, it's better you just explain it to her in your own words," Leorio suggested thoughtfully. "I don't mind helping you about it though…"

'_You and Kurapika are official already?'_

"Yeah, took a while though," the man, said, looking through his clipboard and flipping the report to another page. "You know how he is, playing hard to get. We would talk for a while then he'd stop answering me for weeks. Finally got him to notice things."

'_You guys living together then? Man! I miss you both, you guys should come over for dinner next time!_'

Leorio chuckled. "If I'm going to 'educate' Alluka about you-know-what, I'd have to bring Kurapika with me. Why don't we just have dinner on the same day?"

'_Ah! That's a great idea! Wait, why bring Kurapika with you? Not that I mind.'_

"I was going to show Alluka a visual…"

'_DON'T. YOU. DARE! THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!_'

"How else am I supposed to tell her what sex is!?"

'_She already knows what it is! She saw it! It doesn't make it any better if you show it to her with Kurapika, that's worse! Who in the right mind would even think of that as a method of teaching someone what sex is—"_

"Slow down, this isn't Sex 100," Leorio said, signing the paper with his signature. "I'll just have a small talk with her about it. Don't get worked up, I'm sure she'll understand once we tell her."

A soft knock came from his door, and Leorio looked up to see whom it was. Kurapika walked in, wearing his receptionist outfit with heels on and his hair tied into a ponytail. Leorio put Gon on speaker so that Kurapika could hear him as well, "Kurapika's here."

The blonde blinked at Leorio who just simply nodded as a sign that he could talk and leaned over to the phone. "Hey Gon," he said softly.

'_KURAPIKA! Come over for dinner tonight with Leorio!_'

"Sure, I don't see why not." Kurapika smiled. "What's the occasion though?"

'_Celebrating your establishment with Leorio! It's about time you guys became official. All that sex and every—'_

"OOOOKAAAAY GON!" Leorio smiled nervously with a sweatdrop when he felt Kurapika stabbing him with glares. "We'll see you tonight!"

When the line ended, Kurapika crossed his legs and rested his arm on the table. "Melody went to get us lunch, are you on break now?" Leorio nodded as he looked at his computer and began typing. "I just need to process some of the medicines I recently got from the pharmacy. One of my patients needed a larger dose."

Kurapika frowned, "one of them is getting worse?"

"Yeah…" the doctor closed his eyes exhaustedly. "We're doing everything we can but sometimes our bodies don't really react to how we want it to. We can't really stop death if it's time either…"

Leorio ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Despite how much he wanted to become a doctor, as it was his dream, it hurts knowing that there are some people he can't be able to help. Death is inevitable and he knew that this sad feeling should only last for a while; he's doing everything within his power to make his patients feel better. Kurapika watched the man and walked over to wrap his arms around him and kissed his forehead. "You're working hard, Leorio. I'm proud of you."

"Can we do it?" He blurted. "I really want to do it."

**Warning:** skip if you don't want to read this section. Don't worry; I'll just give a tease.

"E-Eh? Now?"

"Well yeah." Leorio turned to face Kurapika. "And you're not always this nice so I'll take advantage of it."

Before Kurapika could protest, Leorio grabs the young man's wrists and pressed his body against the table. "W-Wait, Leorio—"

"If you're worried about the door, it's okay… I'll be quick…" he said quietly as he kissed the boy beneath him.

Kurapika's face flushed as Leorio releases his lips; trailing wet kisses from his neck then down to his chest. They helped each other undress, Kurapika slowly removing his lover's white coat to the chair while Leorio took his blazer off then his mouth, unbuttoning his long sleeves.

"Did I ever say, you look hot with this outfit?"

"Y-You're just a pervert…" Kurapika breathed deeply in between Leorio's suckling against his skin. His cold hands traveled from his waist then found their way to his nipples, one hand nipping at his left pink bud while the other held on to his waist, tightening his grip around the now trembling boy who shuddered the moment his mouth found the other nipple.

Leorio's warm mouth sent shivers down Kurapika's spine and now suddenly strange noises were coming out of his mouth. The blonde's eyes widened when Leorio went to the pattern of nipping, biting, and then sucking all over again. "A-Ah… L-Leorio…"

The two of them were sexually frustrated enough to have their hard-ons rubbing against each other. Kurapika was already raising his hips and buckled against his will, spreading his legs to let Leorio do the rest of the work. "Tch, Kurapika… You bastard."

"Hurry…A-Ah… up already…"

"As you wish."

His hand traveled lower, reaching Kurapika's zipper and unzipping it the moment he caught it with his impatient hands, wanting to grab Kurapika who was already wet all the way down to his butt. "All I did was suck on your nipple and you're super turned on already?"

"Shut u-up…"

Kurapika gasped as Leorio's mouth captured his throbbing length then moaned when two fingers entered him from behind. "L-Le..Leo… Stop… We shouldn't… We shouldn't do it here…"

But Leorio was already in the middle of unzipping his pants to moment he felt the blonde relax. He pressed his length against the other, making Kurapika's head cock back in surprise and he rubbed the two of them together. "It's kind of late to say that now… I want to go in."

"It's not safe he—_AH!_"

Leorio shoves himself inside the other without any warning, causing Kurapika to scream halfway. The doctor kissed the younger one roughly, pounding on the other against the table.

"Ah…Leori-…Ah… _no… _ple-ah~"

**Warning stops here.**

"Kurapika-san!" A voice was heard from outside the door. "It's me, Melody! I got the bentos for you and sensei!"

The two lovers stopped and their face darkened. _Oh shit…_

They heard the door open.

Kurapika and Leorio's face was priceless. The blonde was tugging on the black haired doctor, trying to choke him to death despite how Leorio was still inside of him. "Get it out! GET IT OUT!"

…it was easier said than done. With Kurapika tugging his hair, Leorio tries to pull away, only to have him pulled back and slam inside the blonde once more. Melody slammed the door in a state of panic.

"Don't have sex here! It's not healthy!"

"T-That's what I told him!" Kurapika screamed then paused, then turned. "Melody?"

She tilted her head. "Yes?"

"Why are you still here?"

"To drop off your lunch! Just pay me later~"

And with that, Melody placed the two bentos on the chair then played with her gray hair as she walked out of the room and shut the door. The couple just stared at each other, amused at Melody's reaction to them having sex at a hospital.

"Shall we contin—"

The door opened once more.

"If you guys want to finish having sex, do it in the basement. Kurapika looks uncomfortable in that position."

Then the door shut for the last time.

* * *

><p>Reviews are much appreciated on this lonely hour. Thank you!<p> 


End file.
